They are driving me nuts

the kids and I went to town today.

Camehome with a bill of groceries. Itold the boys, one go water, the other help unload. Rayley unloaded too.

Then I asked a dozen times if they got it all. They would say yes, but I'd point out something missing. they'd go look.

Finally Brett swore he had it all.
They said they fed everything.

Then they proceeded to get one of the kiddie pools I bought and played in it (bought them for the hogs)

I went and checked the barn, they had fed, but hadnt totaly changed out everyones water (theyhad water, just not fresh) and didnt pick up after themselves or bring the calfs bottle in (94* heat doesnt work well with milk)

I made them get out of the pool, finish their work and made them double check the groceries again.

Then they played in the yard. The boys had two tires they were rolling back and forth, Bow and Rayley played in the dirt.

7:30 came and went, 8 came and went, 8:30 came and went. finally they came in, I made them get quick baths and get in bed by 9:20.

Not what I usually do, but their daddy is bitching because I always make them go to bed so early. blah blah blah.

I told them to make sure they put up all the tires and such. they have done this before and got in trouble for not putting them up.

at 9:50 or so I heard thunder, I went out to get 2 of the 50lbs sacks of feed out of the back, found my taters. then found a sack with bacon, butter and cream cheese in it.

I brought it in. made Brett wake up and come into the kitchen, read him the riot act and told him he owed me 12.00.

He of course had excuses, was whiney etc.

He went back to bed. I was PISSED.

Then I decided to check the driveway. Sure enough, a tire, a bike, and something else. BR isnt home yet. he willbe driving in - in the dark.

So 10:45 I woke them back up. made them go out and get that stuff.

I am just so damn tired of the crap.

I'm really not sure how much more I can do to make it work.

I already instituted the 'I only listen to whining or arguing at 9am and 6pm' and walk away if they do either.

I make them redo and redo till they do it right.

But aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggg.

I dont work them all the time. We work the animals or water or feed or whatever, 3 times a day. usually 20-45 minutes. Some days we work out there more, we work the garden a few days a week. They dont work that hard out there.
they are expected to do a few chores. and usually its only clean up messes THEY make.

we do school from 8- 10 or 12 on weekdays, but not every weekday.

The rest of the time they play.
Their rooms are a mess, They wont pick up their bathroom. And the days I do make them work on something like that, it turns into an all day affair. ALL DAY.

I do expect them up by 6:30 feed, pick up the night befores mess (clothes, bathroom, etc.) and eat by 8 to start school.

I told them starting monday, every 5 minutes they are late means a large chore. dishwasher, load of clothes, mopping etc.

They have been known to sneak their guns out at 6 am, feed, then head off to the woods and show up around 9 or so ready to eat. Needless to say, we dont do breakfast that late. Yes I was mad, and I did make them do more school work, but dang, how do you balance teaching them responsibility and having fun/etc??

BR is no help. he just says "get a hold of them" or "Make them" okay. fine. I can do that, which leads to me having a miagraine and them whining and crying all day. and fighting amoungst themselves. AND he wants me to be easier on them, cause he has all that 'gone to work' guilt. I'd love to be able to make his kinda money for ONE week and let him deal with them. cause they are sooo good when he is here on his ONE day off. and anything that does go wrong ends up being my fault. (I didnt tell them to clean the yard- of course, its THEIR attempt at not putting the trash where it goes and it gets tore up thats all over the yard, or their 'fort' made out of my lawn chairs or the barns a mess cause they were playing down there etc)

He almost has 'divorced dad' syndrome. you know where the kidsdo no wrong on daddies weekend?

oaky bitch over. I think... Dont get me wrong, they are good kids. but they just push me to the limits sometimes. I know all kids do, but now I know why some animals eat their young...

I already instituted the 'I only listen to whining or arguing at 9am and 6pm' and walk away if they do either.

That's funny because we used to drive over to Grandma's almost every weekend (when Scott's dad was alive and she needed help) and Caly would drive us nuts asking how long til we got there. So Scott picked two random places where she was allowed to ask. If she asked when it wasn't an asking spot we told her sorry, we couldn't say. You'd think that she'd memorize exactly how long it took to get there from each spot, but no she had to ask twice a trip every trip for months. Or she'd look up and ask, How long til we get to an asking spot?

but dang, how do you balance teaching them responsibility and having fun/etc??

You are doing a GREAT job of just that, Chelle! It just takes time because you're trying to not crush their spirits. My only bit of advice would be to try to think about who they are, what their nature is, and then work with that in mind. Like if you know they want to get up and go hunting that early then work it into their chores or schoolwork somehow. Have them read some about native americans and the early settlers and how they lived their lives. Or pick a few people in history they could relate to. Like how the Audobon society tries to save birds and was named after the guy who painted so many American birds. But what they don't tell is that he observed the birds, then Hunted them, then Ate them and took notes on how each kind tasted. So you could have them write or draw about what they hunt and have them look at it scientifically and it could be part of their schoolwork. Working with their natures is going to get you so much farther than if you work against them.

As to finishing the WHOLE job before they quit... if you figure that one out, let me know! The only thing I do differently is that I don't, I Won't, wake them up. If mine do not get a good night's sleep then they have shit for brains the whole next day. In fact, I put Zaven to sleep every chance I get. If I have even a hint that they could fall asleep I make them lay down and try. Because they are SO much more intelligent and capable after they sleep. I swear Zaven loses 40 IQ points every time he gets sleepy.

Chelle, you have 3 boys. As Jeff Daniels said on The View the other day - with boys, you need to spell out EXACTLY what you need them to do because they can't string 2 and 2 together. His example was telling his son to get dressed after a bath. He siad they did not tell him to dry off first...and you can imagine a soaking wet kid trying to pull clothes on. LOL

And yes, every kid is different. Some are real crab a**es in the morning and some don't get crabby until later in the day. If they drive you nuts 24/7 maybe try a nap time for whoever seems to need it. I know it sounds crazy, but it might help if they kids are all keeping the same schedule but have different body clocks. If one trouble kid is sleeping maybe the other 3 will be more productive during that time.

Lori, that is SOOO true!!! just a bath example.
I cant say "go get a bath" I have to say " Brett, go get some PJ's, now, get you a towell, find the soap, find the plug, and take a bath."
THEN "turn OFF the water. wash everything, get out, dry off, put on your clothes. pick up ALL your clothes, take them to the washer. "

otherwise, he will be hollering at someone for all the stuff, or running throughthe house dripping wet and nekid. males really DONT think ahead. at all.

just like mowing. Br will just jump on the tractor and start, or grab up the weedeater.

Then he turns ONE peice of paper into 8,000. or hits a toy and throws it 50 feet into my truck at 60mph. you have to clean before you clean. its common sense.

its SOOo agervating.

Karen, thats a good idea. we are incorperating how things were done back then vs what we do now. on everything from how my grandfather farmed in the 40's to what we do now- to how they would have taken care of animals back then.

And the reason I woke them up is because they are real good about not doing somthing that HAS to be done, and then going to sleep. leaving ME to do it. they do it on purpose. so this is a lesson. you dont get away with not doing it.

Belive me, I didnt want to deal with the whining and all that, and I need them in bed by 8:30. for my sanity and theirs.

Hoover will go to sleep whenever, whereever. even washing dishes. or feeding. I have to NOT let him. LOL

Karen, thats a good idea. we are incorperating how things were done back then vs what we do now. on everything from how my grandfather farmed in the 40's to what we do now- to how they would have taken care of animals back then.

Scott taught science and he says the biggest skill kids are supposed to get is to really observe things carefully, measure what they observe, and keep track of it all. He says that's there's a ton more you CAN learn and eventually should learn, but if you can do that, you've got the main idea of science.

So if you're looking for science curriculum and you want to fit it around what they love, they might be more interested and it would help them focus better. Scott does things like building catapults (big, pumpkin chunking ones) and dropping things off tall buildings and trying to make things blow up. He says what ever makes them really LOOK is worth while, even if it seems just like play.

Mine have/had chores, and I make them wait to eat or drink if the dogs are not fed. I also make Bayley wait if she doesn't finish something. She is my tough one, Kristin was easy.....but her mouth( Bnuts) is gonna be the death of her. I swear she may not make it to 13 with teeth in her head.

Bayley LOVES LOVES LOVES to drop things off the roof, blow shit up, burn it, smash it, squish it...whatever. she was whining earlier because we were painting the garage and dh wouldn't let her climb the scaffolding to drop a spaghetti squash off the roof to see how many piece it would break into.

Scott would have had her up there with a stopwatch timing the fall, then had her dropping it out a third story window timing that, then figuring out exactly how fast things would fall if she could get up to the top of a 50 story building.

oh they are all about trying to blow stuff up and seeing what can survive drops, throws, and various other crap. LOL


they have got measurements and such down pat. they are my recipe followers- they double and triple everything.

I'll have to look into working with some experiements and such. they are learning cause and effect (erosion, volcanos' that sort of thing)

Thanks


mine constantly are up on the roof throwing their shoes down. cause the morons throw them UP there. LOL

Theyhave fiqured out how many pumps the gun takes (pellet) to get certain distances. and what a peice of feed vs a BB or whatever else goes the furthest etc.

LOL