Yet another update on Ceilidh.

I thought I would update you guys on Ceilidh again.

Ceilidh has lately been crying about turning 5. She does not want to turn 5, no way, no how! I couldn't get an answer from her until tonight. For such a little girl, she worries about a lot of things. She has 3 reasons on why she doesn't want to turn 5.

1) She'll have to go to big school. We take her into a preschool that's in town instead of the one out our way because it's a much better preschool in our opinion. Because we did this, not one of Ceilidh's preschool friends will be going to the same school as her. She really likes playing with her friends and wants to continue. She thought she would have to go to big school as soon as she turned 5, so she's feeling better about that at least. We also told her that she would still see her BFF and get to play with her. I didn't mention her other friends, but she didn't seem to notice that.

2) DH and I wouldn't be able to bring her to school or pick her up anymore. The school that she will be going to is close to our house, but still far enough away that she will need to take a bus. I told her that we would drop her off and pick her up for the first while, so she doesn't have to worry about that. I also talked up how much fun it would be riding on a school bus with her new friends (I really really hope there are other little kids on our road starting school next year).

3) Her next surgery will be after she turns 5 (we think, we'll find out for sure on Monday). This is the one that's bothering her the most. The first 2 reasons made her upset, but this one she was bawling while talking to me about. It was all I could do not to cry along with her. She asked if they would have to put in stitches again, and when I said yes she starting crying even harder, and the tears were just pouring down her cheeks. I told her that since a stitch didn't dissolve this time, we probably wouldn't have that same problem next time. I didn't really want to tell her that (I refused to lie to her during this whole process), but I just couldn't let her be that scared, so I'm really really hoping that it turns out to be the truth. I did tell her tho that I will be keeping a very very close eye on her cheek and if there is any indication that a stitch didn't dissolve then we will get it taken care of right away. She seemed a little bit better after I told her that, but not much. I then got her talking about happy things about the surgery. She started talking about everything that she wanted to do in Halifax when we go up. She wants to go to Halifax for the same length of time if not longer this time. Not sure if we can manage that, but we will try if it will make her feel better about this whole thing.

I really thought she was adjusting to the fact that she was having another surgery, but I guess not. I knew she was going to be scared (who wouldn't be), but the main worry is about the stitches. I guess having to have the stitch removed traumitized her more then I realized (she was fine when we left the hospital and said it only hurt for a second but was now fine). I really hope that I was able to put some of her fears to an end. I don't want her dreading her 5th birthday.

Thanks for listening to me ramble on again. The whole situation just breaks my heart. I know the surgery had to be done. There wasn't much we could do there. I feel bad that we put her in the other preschool, so come June, she won't see many of her preschool friends anymore. We didn't think about that when we picked this school. It was just the better school (in our opinion). When we visited the school out our way (on a Wednesday), it was the preschool teacher's day off (ummm, middle of the week and no preschool teacher???), you couldn't visit during nap time because the whole school went for a nap at the same time and the teachers had their lunch then (so the kids weren't supervised??) and the kicker for me was when we took a tour outside, a little boy handed me a branch. When the person who was giving us the tour asked his teacher where he got that from, she didn't know because she wasn't paying attention (there were no trees in or near this fenced in play area where the little boy was). I know I don't have to justify our decision here, but it makes me feel a bit better to see it in writing on why we choose to send her to a school in a different area.

Aww...what a little sweetheart... You know the funny thing with kids (and I have learned this from my daughter over time) is that they adapt to just about anything and they do it well. I think it's harder for us parents (atleast I know it is for me). She will make friends, and will manage riding the bus, mine have since preschool. I can imagine the thought of another surgery would be very scary and she is quite brave for having gone through it already and only being 5! That just goes to show how brave and strong she is...I think she will manage school just fine

Dawn, you did the right thing in sending her to a school that you feel good about. I know that it seems that it's made life harder, but I also know that this first year, her first experiences with school, are what set the tone for the years to come. If you had sent her to a school where she wasn't well supervised, properly stimulated, or even one that she somehow sensed made her mom uncomfortable, she might have started thinking of school as a bad thing. The fact that she has had a great year, made friends, and loved being in school is proof that she was in the right place for her, and for your family.

When it comes a bit closer to the end of the school year, see if you can find out anything about who her teacher or new classmates will be. If she could meet a few of the kids who will be in her class (maybe at story time at the library or something like that) she will be a lot less apprehensive.

Ceilidh your daughter -if you don't mind me asking what is wrong with her cheek? I have a son with Medical issuses also he has been operated on 9 times in total @ childrens hosptial in Boston and Mass Eye and ear in Boston. In lame words he has cronic croup there is only 6 in United states that has what he has. He has had the croup over 978 times since he was about 2.. We have it under control now and he had not had the croup in a year and half then BOOM had it last week! When he went to preschool I sat in the Hallway and watched him through the door for a couple of weeks -then from there I sat in the parking lot in my car reading a book -then I was ok with leaving him. So I feel for you. My son can not be near a open window with a breeze on him nor near a air cond vent or heat vent -no harsh chemicals -no smoking-no scents. I have to write a note or call the school everyday wheather he can go outside or not. I have a special Scarf to wrap aroun his neck. He was dubbed never to talk. Since the lining in his throat is weak and around the voice box. Now he is 8 and talks up a storm with having the operations and having his tounge re-done and speech in school 5 times a week and private speech at the hospital 5 times a week. I spent many a nites in the bathrrom with him breathing in steam then drying him off wrapping him up and then going for walks at nite to breath in the cool air (which shrinks the tissues in his throat)-- I have spent many times in oxgen tents with him . I spent years crying over this child through operations and speech and trips in boston -since we live about 50 miles from Boston -Thank god we live in Ma since Boston has the best dr's from all over the world here working. Now matthew just has speech at school 5 times a week and the school knows the drill with him(lol) he went from non-verble -to suttering- to talking up a storm and now you would never know all that he went through- I still have to write notes about going outside in certain temps and he has to have a water bottle with him at all times to keep the tissues in his throat moist. Then after we got the croup under control he fell and broke his elbow in 5 peices -so that was surgery with 2 pins in his arm and a cast 4 weeks recovery(thank god for Boston childrens hospital) since Umass in worcester Ma said they never seen such a bad brake and it would have been 4 pins 6 months recovery-I told them they were not touching matthew and my husband and I rushed him to boston-then 8 months after that matthew was on the monkey bars at school and fell down on his chin and where the neck and the chin meet he had 22 stiches -off to boston again and i had a plastic surgen do the stitches and there is no scar (hint sun screen works great on scars to help with the healing and to reduce scaring) Then I have all hardwood floors in my house and my sons Loves to run and slide with his socks on the floors -he broke his nose so off to boston again.. So I wish you all the best of luck with your child -For us it was a long road that seems to be ending I hope and now matthew is doing great - he is in the 2nd grade since i did have him stay back in the 1st grade -which I had to fight the school on - since nowadays they don't like keeping kids back-but i won on that(which i always do) and now he is doing great and is taken out of the class room-for math and science since he really smart and is in a 4th grade level for math and science. When I was crying over my son after his 1st surgey a nurse said to me God only gives you what he knows you can handle and when god gave you matthew he knew what he was doing since there in no doubt in my mind that if there 100 parents in a room you would be the one to take control and with that - it took me 2 years to find the cure for my son and i cured it and it was put in the Boston Medical Journel and I teach the other five Mom's with there children that have Cronic croup how to take care of them. children out grow the croup by age 3-5 our children didn't. So your daughter is in my thoughts I wish you well take care

Sorry for being so mushy(lo) I have been going through the change had the blood work done 2 months ago (yikes) My poor hubby now has to deal with me for the next 10 years wit the mood swings(LOL) Oh well he will live!! Oh yeah and sorry for any spelling errors it's late... Nite all ......

Sharon - You have been through a lot with your son! He sounds like an amazing boy and is so lucky to have you in his corner! Ceilidh's situation is no where near what your son's is. She had an hemangioma on her cheek. When she was born, it was a tiny little birthmark (the size was the tip of my pinky finger), but at about 6 weeks of age, it grew and grew big (well big for a newborn). It then started to ulcerate (bleed). We tried everything to stop the bleeding. The worse was having to put gauze over it at night (it would bleed the most at night), because in the morning the gauze would stick to the open sores on the birthmark. We would both be crying as I was trying to get the gauze off. We tried using a lot of an expensive cream plus the gauze (the cream was thicker then vaseline and was supposed to prevent the gauze from sticking), but that didn't work either. They finally put her on steroids at 5 months old as a last resort. Once the bleeding stopped and the birthmark was healed, we weaned her off it. The steroids helped with the shrinking of the birthmark as well. It was going away very well (like it was supposed to), but then it stopped for a year. Her dermatologist then thought the next best step was to see the pediatric plastic surgeon since once they start going away, they continue. They're not supposed to stop. It turned out that since her birthmark ulcerated, it was all scar tissue on the surface, so it wouldn't go away and would have to be removed. So really, her surgery and the next surgery was/is mostly cosmetic. There was a more increased risk of her needing a transfusion during the surgery since hemangiomas are caused by a lot of over-active blood vessels in that area, but luckily that turned out fine. She handled the first surgery really well. You could tell how scared she was, but we made it a special trip (the children's hospital was 4 1/2 hours away) for her. Her only real problem after the surgery was when they took the IV out. They stopped the bleeding and put a bandaid on, but for whatever reason she started bleeding again. The blood was actually squirting out of her hand. She was really scared at that point. It took awhile for her to adjust to the birthmark being gone, but she is now Okay with that part. She needs to have the second surgery because they only removed 80% of it. The reason she is so upset about needing stitches this time, was because one didn't dissolve, and her dermatologist had to re-open her incision a little bit to get it out. The derm didn't know she was going to have to do that since there was a piece sticking out, so Ceilidh didn't have anything for the pain (she had some freezing cream on, but that didn't do much for them having to re-open it a bit). I know that was more info then you asked for, but once I got typing I couldn't stop. LOL.


I know in my heart we made the right decision about preschool, but it is still hard to see her worry about not playing with her friends anymore. This is her second year at this preschool, so it's been 2 years playing with these kids. I know she'll adjust to the new school and make all kinds of new friends (she is a very friendly girl), it's just trying to explain that to her. I'm just going to continue to do what I have been and hope for the best.

Thanks everyone!

Sharon, my heart is breaking thinking of how frightened you must have been for your son. I am so happpy that there seems to be a happy ending to his story, but I keep thinking how I would feel if it were one of my kids and I am almost crying. But, it is a good thing to share. I had never heard of this, but if I ever meet someone who's child is suffering with it, I will know there is help. Give your son an extra hug from me today.

aurora, I dont blame her for dreading the stiches. I had surgery on my feet when I was in High school, (bunions, they broke and cut wedges out and filed off bone), One foot was in a cast, the other was in a removable soft cast. ( I wasnt allowed to walk for 6 weeks, at all) 2 weeks later I went in and got the stiches out of the foot with out a cast. they hurt, but I dont remember the pain.

Then 6 weeks later the cast came off, The foot had healed, and they had to PULL out the stiches. to this day I can remember the feeling of having something pulled like that. It turns my stomache. my skin had healed all around the stiches. And my scars are VERY sensitive. every scar I have is. BUT the scars that run the length of my feet are especially so. to the point that if you touch my feet I involuntarily will jump and knock the hell out of you.

Now you can imagine how I felt about any stiches, but they SWORE the ones from laproscopies would disolve. They didnt. I would have to wait until they festered and pop them out.

The ones from my first 2 child births were worse. Most would disolve but some wouldnt.

And when I had my 1st C section I had some that didnt disolve. I couldnt bring myself to get them out. and BR couldnt hold me down to get them out. The Dr actually cut them out when he did my second one. (well, 2 actually came to the surface during that pregnancy, 4 years later).

But I can totally understand her aversion to stiches. I dont remember the pain from childbirth, or laprosocpies, or even the feet surgary. BUT I do remember the pain from the stiches. 17 years ago. and its not as much the pain as the gross feeling of having something pulled out.

I wish her the best of luck! She's so amazing!

I am holding back tears for the poor babies (well, not babies anymore, really...)

Dawn, your daughter is a brave little girl with all that she has had to go through. And i think you are doing great with trying to reassure her with the next step. I know that we all hate to have to lie or fib to our children on anything, but sometimes just a few reassuring words will help.
As far as with the preschool, you have made the right decision. She has one friend that will continue to be her friend when she changes over, and that will help with the transistion. I should know, since I had gone to about 8 different schools. Having a friend from the old one always helped. I still have one girlfriend that I met first day of 7th grade that I still keep in touch with. I will be going through the same thing as you, but not sure when. When I got Timmy into the school here, I did not know how HORRIBLE the public schools were in my town. Since putting him in and getting to know the other Moms, I am hearing horror stories about the education. Plus, getting something from the School District in the mail, admitting that it is one of the worst in IL.. well, I will be looking into trying to get him into a private school maybe starting 1st grade. The hard thing is trying to afford it. I will kick myself in the ass if money being an issue prevents my son from having a good education. And we don't want to move again, just to have him in a better district. So I have one year to get my research done (luckily some Moms have pointed me in the right direction).

Sharon- Your son... his story has touched my heart. I feel for him, but am glad to hear that he is able to be a "normal" boy, within reason. My son was diagnosed with bronchitis when he was 5 months old, and I cried with him as I held the nebulizer to him during some bad times. Luckily, over time, it had faded and he no longer needs it (I still kept it just in case though). But when I was giving him the treatments, I prayed that he would not have problems hindering him as a young boy.

I will be keeping everyone's children in my thoughts, and they all will have an extra spot in my heart.

Thanks Guys!! Your children are also in my thought and prayers!!! as all of you as well!!!

Just another update.

Yesterday was Ceilidh's appointment with her plastic surgeon. Her incision is healing perfectly! He also said that Ceilidh scars great. He still can't guarantee the next scar will heal as good (of course), but the chances are better anyway (or at least that's the impression I got and want to believe, LOL). He wants to do the next surgery in the Spring which is what we wanted anyway. Now we just have to wait until they send us the date. If it is like last time, we will only get about 4 weeks notice. We are going to call them in 2 weeks and ask for something after March 20, but before June. Ceilidh turns 5 the first week of March and we want to be able to schedule her party early and Zach turns 3 in June, so we want the surgery before that so again, we can schedule is party early (the place we like going to books up very fast). We are also going to ask for as much notice as possible since things need to be arranged (time off work, hotels, preschool notice, and inlaws kenneling their dog and anything else that I forgot).