I am so unbelievably angry at my brother and worried at the same time..

I just heard from my mom, she couldn't talk long but someone is supposed to be calling them any minute now to talk about my brothers mental state of mind. He refuses to take a shower/bath, he won't even make himself a sandwich, he WILL eat whatever is in mom's fridge though, he sits in front of their TV all day with the volume blasting up until and past mom and dad's bedtime, their bedroom adjoins the livingroom, he cannot remember to take his meds, and I could go on and on, stuff you would not believe, suffice it to say he needs to live somewhere that someone will take care of those things for him and/or makes sure he does them. Mom and Dad are in their 60's they don't need to be catching hell from their son who is in his 40s because they are telling him to take a shower since he hasn't cleaned himself in over a week, (that and many, many other things ) it's too much..

I think they may try to find a way to evaluate him without him knowing that's what's going on...I don't know

Good Luck to them, I feel for all of you, it is such a tough place to be and heartbreaking too.

oh kelly, that SUCKS!! I hope they can get him the help he needs!!

It probably would be best if they did arrange it all without his knowing. Scott's dad got like that in his last few years. After his stroke he was supposed to wear a leg brace to walk. He had got like your brother, not bathing, not wanting anyone to change the sheets if he'd wet the bed, not taking his pills. So when he decided not to bother with the leg brace he ended up falling and breaking his hip. He never walked again except with a leg brace, a walker, and people assisting. He was just not able to think about the consequences of not taking care of himself.

Hopefully, they can do an eval without him knowing what is going on, It is likely. Maybe then he can get the help he needs, it sounds like he has not been stable for quite some time.

I've evaluated people without them knowing. Hopefully there's an opening somewhere that can take care of him soon. You're right, your parents don't need that kind of stress now.

Its hard, I was talking to mom tonight and she was feeling awful, someone will be out to their house sometime this week. She said she felt like she was feeding him to the wolves. I reminded her that if he didn't get help that when the day comes her and dad are no longer around, that he wouldn't be set up to get the help he needed and he would be lost. I told her that they wouldn't be doing him any favors in the long run by continuing the way they are. She doesn't want things to keep going the way they are and knows that this has to be done, but it still doesn't make it easy. No amount of telling her that the right decision is being made will make her feel any better about it, in a way she feels she is betraying him...

He most likely will see it that way, but in the long run it is the right thing to do. He obviously needs the help and if it saves him from himself than no matter how tough it is... it easier than seeing him dead or wasting away. He will get over it, no doubt he will be extremely pissed off, but it might and probably will help him to see that it was the necessary thing to do.