Feeling the pressure of the generations

Oh my gosh, I just got off the phone with my dad. I called him to let him know I'd be down to see him tomorrow, since I have to attend a Care Conference for my Grandma who's in a nursing home 10 minutes away from him. He's been wheezing for weeks, actually since Christmas, because he had an episode here at my house when he was staying for a couple of days. Luckily I have a nebulizer here already. We've all been on him about calling the Dr. but he refuses. So today he tells me he's still wheezing. I told him yeah, I figured that, I could hear him wheezing on the phone. I told him to make an appointment for tomorrow and I'd be there to keep an eye on his dog for him. No.

So I asked if he remembered when my sister was sick and refused to go see the Dr. He said yeah. I aked if he remembered how helpless we all felt. We even put money in her hands to try to get her to agree to go see the Dr. He said yeah. I told him we (my sibs and I) are feeling that way all over again. He said "Well, she was young. And I'm ready." Which I suppose means that he's ready to die.

Between the kids, my dad (who rarely even leaves the house any more) and my grandma, I am really feeling pressure. It would help a lot if they didn't live so far away. All I can think is - Thank God we bought trip insurance for our cruise in Sept. There are so many things that can go all to hell between now and then.

I'm so sorry. I know there's a time to accept that the end is here. But I can't imagine hearing that from a loved one who hasn't even tried going to the doctor.

I would at least speak to a Dr myself, sounds like he could be depressed. hang in there, maybe he will go if you insist, or trick him/

mega 's

I agree with Erin. Maybe something can be done by speaking to the doctor yourself.

I went thru difficult situations with my parents, and became very close to their doctors... stayed involved, and talked about meds, and the end... and it did help me to accept at the end, just because i knew I did take a pro-active position rather than just listen to them.

My heart goes out to you... it's not easy watching our parents suffer and basically give up.

My sister and I teamed up on my dad. I told him to call the Dr. Monday and get an appointment ASAP and then call and let me know what time it was. Then we would both go down, I'd stay with the dog and my sister would go to his appt with him. It took 3 calls from me before he called me back with an appt time, but he got an appointment Wed (yesterday). His Dr. called a cardiologist and got him an appointment to see him today. His Dr. said not to be surprised if they keep him for awhile. So I brought his dog home with me last night and my sister is going back down again today to take him to the cardiologist.

Before he left to go to the Dr. I told my dad that if they wanted to do any sort of surgery to just go ahead and schedule it and we'd take care of everything for him and be there to take care of him when he got back home. I think he is resigned that we are not going to take a "no" from him again.. .I really got the impression that he's relieved that things are in motion now. His feet had swelled to the point that he couldn't get shoes on. In fact, he bought a pair the other day at Kmart thinking that they'd be wide enough for him and they did not fit at all. So when I went to pick up an Rx for him yesterday I returned those shoes for him.

Now I'm just waiting to hear from my sister about what treatment they plan for him. I'm out of town this afternoon, though, so will most likely be playing phone tag.

I hope things go well...

I'm glad he finally went in. Hopefully things go well for him.

I'm glad he went. Keep us updated.

Waiting to hear from my sister. Also have a niece waiting to hear back from me. My phone is all charged up.

I'm so relieved for you. It sucks when people you love are seriously ill. And being sick makes you so much more likely to develop that attitude of not caring. It's a real problem for so many elderly who could still have many happy and healthy years ahead. Hopefully your dad will make a full recovery.

I'm sooo glad that you were able to talk him into it!!

I dont know why they start acting like that. My FIL is the same way- he has finally started going to the DR, but still wont do what they tell him to.

My dad was not kept at the hospital. The cardiologist is changins some of his meds, doubling one of them and took him completely off another. He has 2 days of tests scheduled outpatient at the hospital next Mon and Tues. After that, he'll see the cardiologist again and he'll make further recommendations about his meds. Looks like I'll have his dog for awhile. At least until next Tuesday.

I hope the changes help. WHat kind of dog is he?

She's a beagle...litter-mate of my own beagle. When they're together they have a pack mentality. One stands up and the other jumps up and starts barking. They feed off each other. Very tiring.

LOL I can imagine. I had a beagle once, he was great but I couldn't handle the howling. My dumb pup howls too- she is suppose to be a Pit/Rot mix, not a hound dog.