It's Official

SOMETHING here has to be "official" right? This is my first PUBLIC posting about this although Chelle already knows..

Im going to be a GRANDMA... it's been a VERY emotional week. My dd is twenty and since she moved out a year ago she has been rebellious... kind of like sending a 15 year old out on her own for the first time type of behavior.

Anyway... neither her or her boyfriend have a job, I don't think he has ever had a job and she got fired from hers about a month ago.

Im sure it will all work out but part of me is angry with her, part of me hopes this will be her wake up call and she will grow up and a part of me is just worried for the baby.

And as time goes on part of you will be excited about your first grandbaby. I hope six months from now you will be like edbson and loading up on the baby gear in anticipation Everything will work out, I'm always an optimist where babies are concerned, nothing better to help you realize you want a better path in life than a tiny little miracle, and I sure do hope it goes that way for her as well.

I'm very glad you shared with us and feel free to vent away. Oh and congratulations gramma (for when you're ready for it)

You are EXACTLY where I was in January. DD had lost her job, due to being pregnant, and her Boyfriend had never really had a job. He now has a job, is working steady, and realizes that he HAS to support this baby. DD is actually looking forward to working again, she has had a job since she was 16 1/2 and does not like being supported, she wants to make her own way.

They did recently move into their first place, they were living with friends before, so this is their firts "alone" place".he HAS to work to pay rent now, and bills....because although I will help DD I have made it clear that I will not support him.

it WILL get better, the shock fades after a little bit, at least I am told it does.
DD is due in 5 weeks, so we could actually get a baby any day now....and she wants it out NOW...yesterday actually.

Congrats, when is she due, or does she know yet?

It's hard at first...Trust me..I was 18 when I had the first one(21 with the second, and YEP I know what cause that too), but just be there for her and try to help her as much as you can and show her what to do....that was the worst part for me....my mom SAID she was gonna help, and then decided not too...and my parents were going through a divorce so I had to rely on someone else when I really wanted my mom....But it will all work out, for everyone involved (HOPEFULLY!) Congratulations!!!!

Congratulations! I'm sure once the shock wears off everyone will settle in and focus on what's best for the baby.

Edbson, thanks! It's nice to know someone out there has gone through this same thing. (Im sure there are others but right now....)

We have also said we won't support him but I did go get her some healthy foods to make sure SHE has some good nutrition until she can get on WIC. She just doesn't have a clue right now.

It at least sounds like your dd's bf is trying. In our case they haven't even been together a month and no the math isn't adding up for anyone but them so what are really the chances this guy is even going to be around 8 mos from now? Pretty slim, but you never know.

There are SOOO many issues I have to come to terms with and figure out how to handle...


Kaelynn, I also had my first at 18 but I had been on my own pretty much for a year by that time already and had a job, and a plan (after I got the surprise) and was so much more mature than what my dd is. So it makes it hard to be understanding. Im so sorry your mom wasn't there for you. It really is an important time to have your mom show you what to do and what is going on.

Congrats again! And I know it will work out! Remember God works in mysterious ways!

Connie, congratulations, and pass on congratulations to your daughter! I'm also optimistic when it comes to babies, and I think there will just be one more person to love on when they arrive. I have a friend who has 4 grandchildren already but I think I have a while longer to wait for mine and I'm so jealous of those of you who have grandkids to spoil. I think I'm really out of it when it comes to baby paraphernalia and I'd love to dig into all that again.

Connie, I'm so excited for you. I know that excitement is not what you're feeling, but since I am so far awy that I can't feel the stress and concern, I am excited. You are smart to get her on WIC, as they can help quite a bit, and also have her apply for a medical card, food stamps, and unemployment. I know she shouldn't start her independence by getting hand-outs, but she needs them right now. Then she should start planning. She should make a plan. Even if it's a crappy plan, it will help her start to feel in control. If she can, she should make a list of what she needs (crib, matress, diapers, sheets) and start to really think about it. Can she find a way to live without it? I thought I had to have nursing bras. Then I found I could just slip the strap of my regular bra off my shoulder and make do. If she does have to have it, can she get it second hand? Or is it unsafe to do so? As she's able to cross items off the list, she'll start to feel in control and responsible. It can help a lot.

You're a good Mom, and even if it doesn't seem that way now, most daughters take on that dedication and support they learned when they parent their own baby

I have no doubt this baby will be raised around love and support, emotionally!

Don't forget to check out baby freebies!

[quote="edbson"] DD is due in 5 weeks, so we could actually get a baby any day now....and she wants it out NOW...yesterday actually. quote]

My DD is due in 6 weeks. Maybe they will be born on the same day.
My DD is soooooooo tired of being pregnant and want this"kis to get out of there".

This is my first grandchild too. I am so excited!!!
My DD is 29 and she and her hubby have been trying to get pregnant for over 5 years.

DD turned 20 on Monday, I will be 38 sept 1,so I am kinda hoping he waits until then, he is due August 26th.

Connie, it gets better, trust me, but it is one hell of a ride until it does.

Congratulations everyone who's gonna be a grandma soon! Good luck! It's gonna be long before I'm gonna be one myself though.

I forgot to mention, the day after DD told us she was preggy. After it kinda sunk in, I made really good friends with a large bottle of wine. I saw things alot more clearly after that.........and I had a headache.

edbson wrote:I forgot to mention, the day after DD told us she was preggy. After it kinda sunk in, I made really good friends with a large bottle of wine. I saw things alot more clearly after that.........and I had a headache.

LOL... already been there! I KNOW it will get better and all will be well.. I just want her to grow up and right now. This one has always been the one who has to take the hardest road down any given path so I should be used to it.

Thanks everyone for your support and understanding. It really is nice to be able to vent and share and KNOW you will get the support you need. You are all wonderful!

As happy as I am for you, I have to say I am thankful for situations like this. I would not have my 2 wonderful adopted children if it were not for younger moms who entrusted me with their precious ones.

I am sure all will work out and this little person will be well loved by happy Grandma!!


Sorry, this brought a tear to my eye with remembering the joy to me of what a gifts I have.


Congrats to you!!

Congrats, I know that you realize when you see that precious baby you will experience love as you never have before.
My situation was FARRRR from ideal (my youngest daughter was barely 18,unwed, living in the slums of Brooklyn NY after running away from home) the first time I looked into my newborn granddaughter's face I felt joy, and love as I never had before.
I used to think those people who held me hostage with pics of their grandchildern were lunatics with no lives...today I'm one of them. We've all heard it said that grandkids are your reward for not killing your teens...that is the truth.

I'm not going to sit here and paint pictures of pink fluffy bunnies & rainbows because as it turns out I'm now raising that beautiful baby plus her little sister, full time. Some days I feel tired, overwhelmed, cheated and angry at being forced to start all over again but thankfully those days are rare.
My daughter recently told me she was pregnant again & thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown at the possibility of yet another baby I'd either end up with or see placed into the foster care system. (Turns out she's not pregnant)
Currently my daughter is "babysitting" her own kids while I recuperate from my surgery. They called me yesterday and she put the babies on the phone the oldest one, Little Scarlett (she's named after me) said "Grammy, You're the love of my life!" and suddenly I was no longer mad at my idiot daughter for not owning up to her responsibilities. I was consumed with the pure love that comes straight from the innocence of a child’s heart.
I just have to believe that it my Creator’s plan that, just for today, I’m supposed to be raising these two beautiful, precious darlings. I’m grateful that I have the means & ability to parent again.
My oldest daughter had my grandson last August and even though the circumstances of her life were not the best she and her husband are working hard and raising the most perfect baby boy in the Universe. I can’t say I was jumping for joy when I found out about her pregnancy either because I wanted her to finish college and be more financially stable, but once again things didn’t go my way.
Connie, my hope for you is that like me, with time you can not only accept the hand that life has dealt us but actually revel in the joy of being a grandparent.


By the way……Wanna see some pics of my grandkids???

Mrschia and Scar (everyone else gets a big thank you as well).

I do have to say.. you two have brought me to my knees..... when I read Mrschias response last night, I actually cried.. I realized this was MY baby and while I know there are many greatful parents and kids because of adoption, and thank goodness they have the sense to give their child up for adoption when it's necessary.. no one was going to raise MY baby besides me if her parent can't do it. The point it... it made me take ownership of this baby and feel like it's MINE.

Scar... Thank you so much.. my sister said the same thing.. she never thought she could feel any more love than she felt for her kids but becoming a grandmother changed all that. I am actually looking forward to that feeling. It is also great to know that others have been in even harder situations and all came out well.

Even if I have to raise this baby, at least I feel like it is mine and Im not alone. I truly don't think my dd would give the baby up even to me but at least I am starting to feel like there can be lots of hope and happiness in this situation.

And YES... share those pics of the grandbaby!

I think it will all work out connie. Even if you do end up as a new mom again, just look how much fun 1st grade was this year.. LOL

Plus, there are women your age having their FIRST babies.. at least you have expeirence.. LOL

And there is Miss Chelle.. helpful as ever... LOL.... Honestly... you are awesome! Im working on a new website and you are going to be one of the star players in it!

Connie, I totally know what you mean. DD mentioned considering adoption and I immediately RAN to my attorneys office to see what I had to do to be the one to adopt. I em determined that DD will raise him, but if she can't I will be more than willing. The first step IMO is taking "ownership", like you said.

Oh, and BTW, there is way more cooler baby crap now than there was even 10 years ago. Unbelievably fun to buy. Today for example, I bought a Jumperoo, it's a horse one, coolest thing on the planet....I think he will use it at about a year old....lol

Congratulations!

I love baby stuff... my BABY is just seven, so I still have tons of stuff... I believe we own every "Step two" product ever made as a matter of fact... lol... I was sure I would have grandkids before she was too old so I saved everything.. if it's a girl we are pretty much set!

There is cooler baby stuff now than there was when Rayley was born! She's 4. LOL


re the website, COOL!! do I get to smite anyone?? rebecca wont let me smite anyone...

Actually I cant wait, your websites are all SOOO great! I couldnt have made it with out you.