what a day yesterday day was, can i tell you the highlights?

first off we are going through some stressful times right now. my son is PDD NOS and having issues, my dad has cancer. so needless to say things are not peachy but we are making the best of it. but yesterday truly brought me down.

first off, my housemate comes down from her apartment and says she is "missin" 100 dollars, might have misplaced it and cannot pay us some of the money she owes us for food and stuff. we spent some time searching but never found it.

second i had a misunderstanding with someone about a post i had made. and thought the person never intended to upset me. i was upset anyways. but it did get resolved for which i am thankful. misunderstandings occur on the internet. so it was good she and I could reach a undersanding . so this ended well. thank goodness cause the next two things just BLEW.

third, my son has been struggling with potty training. but he is going more often now which is good. but yesterday he decided for some reason to "save" a nugget. oh yes, you know what i am talking about. UGH. he decided to poo paint his window in his room and hide it under the shade. sigh. kinda hard to hide the smell though. He knew what he was doing was wrong and he would be punished or he would not have hid it. well he lost everything. all his toys, books, stuffed animals are all locked up. he also smeared poop on his comfort blanket. now this is not the first time. i had told him if he did that again i was NOT cleaning it again. i was throwing it out. needless to say yesterday was a nightmare and hard on both of us. i dont like breaking his heart. but he has to learn.

fourth was that in the mail was a TICKET from the illinois tollway. apparently last month when we went to see my folks and i was sleeping in the car, i sleep to avoid car sickness, my husband skipped some tolls and went through the Ipass lanes. now had he only done it once i am sure we could have explained it as a mistake and been given a reprieve and told to just pay the toll and not the punishment amount of 20$ per violation. well no, hubby missed 3 in one day. so now 4 dollars in tolls became 64 dollars. needless to say he made all the money i have saved worthless doing this. he KNOWS they have camaras at the ipass lanes. he knows this yet did it anyways.

to top my day off, the lady who came to see the apartment i am showing for rent decided it was too small for her. she would have been a perfect tenant. just her and her cats, she works, no drama. sigh.

long day. i hope today is better!!

I hope today is better for you

Hugs! Sorry it was such a yucky day, but today is a new day, and hopefully you will find it full of sunshine!

Sati, please don't be too hard on your son. Yesterday was an awful day, but despite the fact that he knew he should not paint with his poop (something all of my kids have done at least once), he's still just a kid. Mistakes and bad choices are how we learn. It's not that I think he does not need consequences for his actions. He does. And I'll leave it to you to decide what they should be. But I encourage you try to be as calm with him as you can after such an awful day. I will say a prayer that things improve!

My daughter was just diagnosed with pdd nos..... Funny before last week I never even heard about this

Sati, take a deep breath,today will be better. I am 99% sure one of my girlies is Aspie, so I can totally relate, but all kids do stuff like that.

Maybe we should have another board? PDD/NOS, ADHD, Aspergers.....

thebigscott wrote:Sati, please don't be too hard on your son. Yesterday was an awful day, but despite the fact that he knew he should not paint with his poop (something all of my kids have done at least once), he's still just a kid. Mistakes and bad choices are how we learn. It's not that I think he does not need consequences for his actions. He does. And I'll leave it to you to decide what they should be. But I encourage you try to be as calm with him as you can after such an awful day. I will say a prayer that things improve!

it is not a good situation. he is 5 and he does know better. but he has impulse control issues. we have a behavioural therapist on board with him for the last year. she says we HAVE to ttake steps like this. and if dont be strong and very to the point with the consequences that it will only get worse. in dealing with him all these years. i finally came to see what she was saying. in the past i would not have ever taken it to this length i would have thought it was being too harsh and hard on him. but honestly. he is better. he works hard to earn his toys back and bedding. it DOES work. just not always forever. with the impulse control and temper issues it can be hard for him. but if we dont follow through he gets worse. it breaks my heart though.

thanks everyone so much for your kind words and suggestions in this. this is NOT the first time though. he did this when he was three and had stopped doing it for a long time. but in the last couple weeks he started doing it again. being 5 this is a huge issue. huge.

You HAVE to be consistent with these kids, and sometimes it seems harsh ( PDD/NOS, Aspies, ADHD) or they WILL NOT get it. You are doing what is best, hang in there.

edbson wrote:You HAVE to be consistent with these kids, and sometimes it seems harsh ( PDD/NOS, Aspies, ADHD) or they WILL NOT get it. You are doing what is best, hang in there.

it breaks my heart having to do this. but he does not get it unless i do this to this length. he responds to this when nothing else works. thanks for understanding.

good for you for teadhing him right from wrong...
too many parents just wring their hands and make excuses..
You are doing what is best for him

kudos!

I wish you the best of luck. my younger brother had some behavorial problems when he was that age. Almost lit the house on fire. But my Mom was strong and didn't back down. Now, he is 25 and doing good for himself. Trying to get a promotion at work, and was just transferred to a better store. =) Plus, he has the most beautiful 3 little boys I have ever seen. Well, after mine, of course.

But I wish you luck, you have a strong support system here on the board.

I say make your husband clean the poop!

Lucky wrote:I say make your husband clean the poop!

crossed my mind, but i would have had to smell it all day til he got home from work. that wasnt going to work for me. so clean it i did. sigh. but i got paid on tuesday and didnt give my honey any money. i told him it was all mine for cleaning the poop. SHOOOOOOOOOOOOPING! good for the soul! LOL

sati769leigh wrote:

thebigscott wrote:Sati, please don't be too hard on your son. Yesterday was an awful day, but despite the fact that he knew he should not paint with his poop (something all of my kids have done at least once), he's still just a kid. Mistakes and bad choices are how we learn. It's not that I think he does not need consequences for his actions. He does. And I'll leave it to you to decide what they should be. But I encourage you try to be as calm with him as you can after such an awful day. I will say a prayer that things improve!

it is not a good situation. he is 5 and he does know better. but he has impulse control issues. we have a behavioural therapist on board with him for the last year. she says we HAVE to ttake steps like this. and if dont be strong and very to the point with the consequences that it will only get worse. in dealing with him all these years. i finally came to see what she was saying. in the past i would not have ever taken it to this length i would have thought it was being too harsh and hard on him. but honestly. he is better. he works hard to earn his toys back and bedding. it DOES work. just not always forever. with the impulse control and temper issues it can be hard for him. but if we dont follow through he gets worse. it breaks my heart though.

Then you are doing the right thing. The only reason I said anything was because I know how hard it is when your kid picks an awful day to misbehave. It's easy for anyone (me included) to take out the stress of the day on them and overreact or lose control. But in this case, you responded appropriately. I would have done the same thing. I just wanted to remind you (and anyone else reading it in the future) that it's OK to back off a few minutes or even an hour if that's what it takes to calm down. I was just afraid that you were going to get rid of his comfort blanket completely. I've known a few parents who've done that and later wished they hadn't.

he THINKS his comfort blankie is gone. and in a way it is. the one he got covered in filth IS gone. but i had bought several of the exact same blanket. when i trade one out he is sleeping and he always accepts the new clean one as the same one. Thanks for the reminder though to me and everyone. I do take time outs with him now and again. I put him in his room and then listen to some music or stand on the porch for a litle bit till i am calm again.