whew!

Missed y'all yesterday.....whats going on with you?

Some days I just love my husband. He got up this morning, cooked some bacon and biscuits, and just now left to take ALL the kids to his mom's to spend the night! So here I am munching on bacon and leftover Easter candy, free for 24 hours at least. If only I didn't have all the housekeeping I've been putting off.

It was pretty busy here, at least until 9 when I checked out and left the keyboard... and wouldn't be surprised if some ended up chatting later on.

Guess you have a lot of reading to do this morning. How'd the dinner go?

yes! a lot of reading... but I will catch up

The dinner was actually quite nice.

It was in one of those fraternal halls..
nothing to look at but the food was the best that I have had out in many years...
seriously. Dan had ordered stuffed pork chops for us..
they came with a mountain of stuffing... two lean chops and yummy green beans

sald
cake
drinks..

I stuck with ginger ale..

I was thrilled to see Charlene and John come in as I had met them before and like them both..
Charlene works for the dpt of agriculture and tries to find loans for family farms that are in trouble..

She is an animal lover. they both are ... but mostly she is.. and she has 9 horses in the family and 5 that they board.
She has a sheep, a llama, four dogs, the snakes and iguanas have all moved out with the sons... there are cats,
and they are gettting a pig. Just for fun, not for food.
She has a few mini horses too..

and one aging clydesdale and she is getting a young one in a year or so.. she has two paints.. sisters that I am mad about .. named Thelma and Louise

anyway..
I love Charlene and had much more fun that I would have guessed that I would.

I even wrangled myself an invitation to come and watch her working on breaking her two new horses..

yay!

and.. we were home around nine..perfect!

I also me the woman who calls my husband every day..

interesting...

she is the union prez

he talks to her more than he does to me on any given day

again

interesting

Kath, I'm so glad you had a good time! It's always fun when things turn out better than you expected.

But why is this woman talking to your husband so much? You don't think anything's going on, do you?

Well... I have certainly been wondering.....

But she made sure to tell me in general conversation (?)
that she had chosen to lead a celibate life, and she raised her cross necklace..

so ... who knows...

If I seem disinterested? well.. Dan and I have pretty much been just room-mates for many years..
financially it is agreeable ... but we have Lots of bad history ... we each do our own thing and have our own interests

I have had my own room since 2000 and that is a huge blessing..
that and my porch are my sanctuaries..

Kath, I'm so sorry to read that your marriage is not as happy as it could be. But I am glad that you are OK, and that you felt free to tell us. I have been so lucky in finding Scott... but I also know that a lot of it is luck. I dated some real losers before Scott and could easily have ended up in your situation. Perhaps one day you and Dan will be financially able to move on and you'll find someone worthy to share your life.

I'm sorry to hear you've had a rough go of it the past few years Kath. At least things sound amicable -- I guess there are worse things than that.

It's been a nice couple of day's here. I'm still on vacation from work so the kids, dog, and I went out to my mom and dad's yesterday. The dog had a good time herding the neighbour's cows, the kids had a good time in the mud. Mike had mentioned going out for brunch last night so this morning we went to do that. Very nice to spend some time together as a family! We're supposed to go out to a birthday party tonight. I really don't want to go, but I think I'm going to have to. Maybe I'm catching the flu...

Sounds like you are a strong woman to be able to deal with it this way kath. And I hope tht you are happy. I would hate to know you were miserable. But if y'all are able to amicably go to dinner then I thinks thats great

well.. it is not always amicable....lol

but he has been making more of an effort to be civil lately....

Not sure why.... ( guilt for having a gf? lol)

whatever..

He even does the dishes sometimes...


I am pretty sure that I wll have to kill him on the trip to Charlotte for my daughters wedding reception..

I told my doctor that I can only spend 5 hours or less in a car with someone no matter how much I like them..
I then said that I would be in a car with dan for at lest 12 hours and that he drives 5-10 mph under the speed limit at all times.
I said that I would probably have to kill him, but that I would make arrangements for my dog to go to him.. the doctor... due to his medical needs..

then I asked for some valium which might help to avoid that scenario

he gave me ativan

I do not usually use any drug I do not absolutely have to.. but Rescue remedy just will not make it, I know
I tried it before


LOL

I am content..


It is half my fault... I got married for the wrong reasons...

Now I will not leave what I helped to earn.. this is my home
I need it for me, for my animals...

I am often lonely, but I am content

Ativan should do the trick! You'll either sleep the whole time or you won't care who you're driving with! LOL!

hope I just don't care... lol

have to stay awake to take care of my dog..
He has Addisons.. and this is his first long trp...
I don't dare leave him in a kennel....he would die.. no kidding..
Stress f any kind can send him spiraling..

Hoping the rescue sleep helps him through ...

he is doing really well and has not crashed for years .. since right after I got him..
his heart actually stopped... long story...
but we got him back

cross fingers for us though...
we will need it.. it is going to be tough on my guy
I love him to distraction, this dog.. and work hard to keep him healthy

Awww, poor guy! Hope he sleeps well on the trip! That would be awful for you and him!

Kath, I marvel at your attitude, considering what a handful of crap cards you've been dealt.

Kath, I am so sorry that you have been going through this. I've been reading your blog as well, and I know that you have a hard time with your job, too. I wish there was something I could do for you, but all I know is to hope and pray that things will turn around.

I know that your job is an important one, and that there are aspects of it you love, but maybe you could supplement it with income from things that do make you happy. My father-in-law was a publisher many, many years ago, and I remember that he always had a need of proofreaders. If you've read something a few times, your tend to start reading what you expect to be on the page, not what is on the page. Maybe you could do some proofreading or editing work via telecommuting. If you get in with one of the big publishers and they pay by the page (they used to do it that way, not sure any more) then you could make enough to cut back on your work or consider moving out into a happier situation.

Please don't think I'm judging you on your choices. I swear I'm not. I'm just worried for you. You deserve to be happy in your own home, to be safe at work, to enjoy life fully.

Some of the most amazing people, most loving people that I have ever met work where I do.
And some of the kids are not only sweet and lovable, but amazing! I do vent, sometimes I need to.. to get rid of it before the next round..
but I am cautious... I walk behind the really big kids ( some a foot taller than me.. lol) and hold onto their jackets or shirts and pray they don't run
or spin around and flatten me.. Usually we put on about 2 miles each in getting the kids off the buses .. one at a time..

There is a girl who has so many different dx's it is staggering. She used to just scream and run and hurl herself around...
lash out.. do awful things...

That was 4-5 years ago..

Now.. she still does things like throw her backpack ( she is about 6-7 inches taller than me.. about 15 or so)
and she occasionly mutters odd things.. but now?
She can spell and write and remember the names of many staff and kids. She is a big girl and carries a teeny pocket book
everywhere..

Frankly she cracks me up.. I was taking her in from the bus the other day.. she launched her backpack halfway down the hall...

then she turned to me and said "catch"

hehe

in other words..
I, and many others hate that we are getting so many behavior problem kids..
we hate that we don't do enough for or respect them enough..
this no consequences thing is crap..
that is not the real world..
if they go to walmart and do to someone some of the things they do at school gods know where they will be locked up

They come in the building and squat and poo or pee on the floor..
then play in it.

They know what they are doing..99% of kids 99% of time..
But we never say no ( supposedly)
we never make them clean it up ( supposedly)
we never give them even a time out for hurting us or other kids..
And the social workers are the worst for making excuses for them..
or for their families who do not take proper care of them.

( I have lied about why it needed to be done and bathed more than one student. more than one time..
we have a full apt area with shower and bath..we are not really supposed to do it.. but sometimes
you just gotta do what ya gotta do! lol)


its a travesty

that said

i love my job

i hate things about it ... the kids some of them.. have more love and need in those little bodies..
astounding.. so I get to go to work and be hugged, and have little ones lie in my arms and sleep.. smiling because they can.. and they feel safe..
and they pay me ( not much let me tell ya) but they do..

and I love my own children.. and would have gone through twice what have in order to get them.. more ...

I am okay... I have learned to expect nothing from anyone, so everything is a bonus

If you are happy, then I will be happy for you. And feel free to vent to me at any time. I do not mind, and I understand that sometimes talking about what is wrong is enough to help you though it.

thank you Karen.. and back at ya!

yay!!! I finally did it!!

Went to the mall ( ugh) with my sister and
I used my Borders gift card today....I got

The Book of Books by Les Krantz and Tim Knight

State of Fearby Michael Chrighton

Second Sight by Amanda Quick

The New Encyclopedia of American Trees by Tony Russell

America 24/7 by Rick Smolan

all bargain books.. paid total of 4.00$ and a bit of change

I got a pair of shoes for the wedding, that I like better than the other pair....
So I will return the first pair and keep these.. on sale and then 20% more off
22 $ for slingback mall black heels... nice ones!

I also got some powder at Clinique and they gave me all sorts of freebies!
I got a make up bag, lipstick, eye shadow regular sized! and moisturizer and cleanser samples
and some uplift cream or something.. sample.. and a sample of mascara!!!!!

Too cool! I will take them on my trip for Amy's wedding reception...

I also bought some ginger capsules on sale ( saved 1.50 )

And my favorite body wash from Dove....

Well Kath, sounds like you had a good shopping experience today. What's your favorite Dove Wash?

my favorite is usually the one I am using.. I love Dove body wash!
This is my second bottle of Refresh!
water lily and fresh mint...
nice!

I'm taking you shopping with me the next time I go -- you sure found some good deals!

kath wrote:yay!!! I finally did it!!

Went to the mall ( ugh) with my sister and
I used my Borders gift card today....I got

The Book of Books by Les Krantz and Tim Knight

State of Fearby Michael Chrighton

Second Sight by Amanda Quick

The New Encyclopedia of American Trees by Tony Russell

America 24/7 by Rick Smolan

all bargain books.. paid total of 4.00$ and a bit of change

I got a pair of shoes for the wedding, that I like better than the other pair....
So I will return the first pair and keep these.. on sale and then 20% more off
22 $ for slingback mall black heels... nice ones!

I also got some powder at Clinique and they gave me all sorts of freebies!
I got a make up bag, lipstick, eye shadow regular sized! and moisturizer and cleanser samples
and some uplift cream or something.. sample.. and a sample of mascara!!!!!

Too cool! I will take them on my trip for Amy's wedding reception...

I also bought some ginger capsules on sale ( saved 1.50 )

And my favorite body wash from Dove....

Five books and shoes for 27 bucks? Wow great deals! Almost makes me want to go shopping, lol, almost. I think I may be one of the 2% of women who hate to shop.

well ... the gift card DID help!

Oh Okay, I see now, lol. I was wondering how you found books for less than 50 cents at Borders.... I was ready to head down to PA to do some shopping!