Welcome to Aiden (cheyandwysmom's nephew)

For those who didn't read about him on BzzChat, Aiden is cheyandwysmom's 2 year old nephew. His mom was arrested and he is now an unexpected but much beloved part of cheyandwysmom's household. I thought we could have a welcome thread for him to help him through this difficult transition.

Welcome, Aiden!

Welcome!

WELCOME!!

a beautiful picture!

That's my youngest son's name too. He is 6 years old and the name has really been picking up steam in the last 5 years.

Aidan Conner is his name and it fits perfectly. he has bright orange hair and a mischievous grin....
This pic is a few years old, but I love it.



Welcome to the new Aiden too!

Oh Rikostan He's ADORABLE!!!! I love that orange curly hair!! I remember my oldest had that curly hair!!! Its gotten so think that they all fell out!!!

Welcome Aiden!!!!

My son's hair gets that color sometimes, i love it!

Welcome AIDEN! Timmy and I are glad you can make it! He would love to one day play games with you! Hope you like cars! ;-)

Welcome Aidan.
Rikostan- what a cutie! I am jealous. I always hoped for red headed kids. I love red hair.

You guys are the greatest! I just stopped in for a quick check on things earlier and didn't notice this thread - as soon as I did tonight I ran to get him! He couldn't believe this was ALL FOR HIM! He asked if everybody is really nice, and I was sure to tell him that all of you are very nice people who are hoping he's having fun at Auntie Chelle's house. (I get to be a Chelle too, just for him!) He said to say HI!

On a related note, before I head off to bed, I'm hoping for suggestions. He has a range of emotional issues that we're having to discover as they come up (unfortunately, children that have been through what he has don't come with handbooks). The most recent one has been bathtime. He has an utter meltdown - sobbing hysterically, curling into the fetal position, unintelligible words, etc at the prospect. I have somewhat gotten around the issue by offering to let him wear his swim trunks, stand in the tub, and I use a cup to pour water over his shoulders, but he won't let his head get wet at all without breaking down. I have thought about the sprinkler outside with shampoo, but I'm in WI - it's not warm enough for that yet, and I'm all out of ideas. Any ideas you all might have would be greatly appreciated!

Michelle, it may be a behavioral issue, but it also may be a sensory issue... meaning it feels overwhelming for him in a way that it doesn't for others. My husband Scott has a few things (mostly sounds such as the creasing of paper) that to him are like fingernails on a chalk board, but to most people are nothing. He has learned to deal with them, but they bother him a lot more when he's under stress. I would talk with him some evening in bed, and tell him that you know he doesn't like the water, but you don't know what he doesn't like about it. See if he can describe what he doesn't like. Tell him he will need to get clean, but that you can work with him to find a way that's not scary. Ask him if he wants to try washing his hair in the kitchen sink standing on a chair so he can be fully clothed. Or if he wants to wash it with a wash cloth instead of pouring the water on him. Or if there is a toy (even a stuffed animal) that he could hold that would make it less scary. Let him have as much choice in the matter as he can. And instead of washing him daily, do it every other day and put baby powder in his hair if it gets oily in between.

That's a very good point, Karen. We had quiet time tonight together before bed, just reading stories and talking about our day, but I didn't approach the subject with him just yet. I really want him to feel safe here and know that he can trust me to make sure he's ok. I just don't want to break that trust by making him do something that is obviously so distressing for him. We'll give your ideas a shot - I'm grateful for the suggestions!

It sounds like you're doing exactly what he needs... giving him time. I'm glad he's got someone like you to help him through this.

Such a cutie! Welcome!

Offer to get in the shower (instead of bath) with him.
I know it's PITA but maybe that will help
Walk him thru it step by step.
Do a silly song like..this is the way we wash our knees..etc...
If he starts getting overwhelmed get out -- towel off and be grateful that at least you got that far.

The main thing is to deal with him calmly, assertively and lovingly.
This can recover, I know from personal expeirence.




(rikostan---THAT is one cute kid!)

Karen and Scarlett had some good ideas. I was thinking that maybe if you got a little plastic kiddie pool, or little inflatable pool, it may be more fun if he doesn't realize he's taking a bath. A little pool toy to play with while he's in there. This way you could use it inside if it's a small one. I agree with the wash cloth idea for washing the hair like Karen suggested. He's a little fella so he doesn't have a ton of hair to wash. Good luck and tell him I said "Hi" and give him a squeeze.

Michelle --How is everyone doing?

bump...I just saw your flood post

On the Aidan front - he's doing fairly well, with the exception of hating the rules at Aunt Chelle's house! He didn't have a lot of structure there - it was basically "do what I want till mom completely loses it, then get an extremely bad spanking, and be punished until Mom lost interest, then back to doing whatever I want."

Needless to say, we're a whole lot more consistent here, and are attempting to cut the bad behaviors off at the pass - it's working, but taking a little time. It just breaks my heart because I know somewhere in there is a little boy with so much joy and love to share - he just has to learn that it's ok to let it out....but he's got an aunt who loves him tons, so we'll find it yet!

you are doing a brave and wonderful thing... love will win out.. and consistancy

hang in there ...