I could kill my SIL.

So she's at my MIL's house. They drove 5 hours to get there. And she's giving me shit about the kids not being there. UM... they were there. I drove an hour to drop the kids off yesterday, then drove home. Then SIL called from the road and says she's sick and can I please come get the kids. So I drove there and got them and drove home yet again. That's 4 hours driving so far. This morning she called my mom's house where Caly was and starts giving Caly shit about not being there at my MIL's. They live in the same town so Caly is like 5 minutes away. She's 12. SIL doesn't call and say, "Hey, we really miss you. Can I pop by and get you?" No. She gives Caly shit and tells her that she's rude and inconsiderate to not come over after they drove so far to get there. WTF? She just told me last night to NOT have the kids there. Made me drive an extra 2 hours to take them away! She told me she was sick. Even if she was just trying to get the little ones out of her hair, I don't want my older kids hanging around getting sick. Plus we have plans to go to the circus tonight. My MIL is babysitting the little ones. That's why I took the kids over last night. That was part of the plan because the circus in in yet another town. I have to go out of my way to drop them off now. Since Scott teaches today I was going to just ride to the circus with him and meet SIL and the older kids there. Now I've got to drive back over to get them there early enough to make it to the show. Since Scott can't leave school early he may have to take a separate car. Not only does it waste gas but he's been sick all week and because of the evaluations he's been getting about 3 hours sleep a night. I don't want him driving.

Anyhow, I'm getting ready to call over there and tell her that I have no idea WTF she wants and I'm not in the mood to do it even if I did know. Not after her reaming Caly like that.

family is great isn't it?

ugh. That's shitty Karen.

Have fun at the circus though!!!! Can I come? LOL

She sounds unstable.

wanna get mine while you are at it?
I would SO let her know how i felt abut her basically attacking a child for something beyond her control.

Lori wrote:She sounds unstable.

She is. I really think she's bipolar. She used to be crazy like this all the time. Then she was diagnosed with a lot of sleep problems. In recent years she's acted mostly normal. Then this... I'm wondering if maybe she was on meds and is now off them, or if it's because she's sick? Either way, it's unacceptable. But I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it tonight. I tried to call. I talked to Caly and to my MIL, but SIL and BIL were out. (He's one of those who will just follow her lead no matter what. It's not that he won't stand up to her. He won't even understand that his perfect wife could be wrong.) Anyhow, I don't want the big fight to be just as we walk into the circus. On the other hand, I am not about to let this one go. Erin is right about telling her how I feel. I'm going to ask Scott to speak to her first, and have him tell her that she needs to apologize to Caly. If he won't, or isn't clear on how serious we are about this, then I'll speak to her myself. If I'd called her kid rude because she didn't come over AFTER I sent her away, SIL would scream and yell. I am going to try not to do that because then I'll start crying and it'll ruin the effect. But I am not going to just let her treat my kid this way.

Karen my worst SIL of the 3 I have , is like that all the time and makes no apologies about it. She has no other excuse for the way she is other than this is how she has always been and everyone usually just stays out of her way. I haven't really figured out the best way to deal with her yet. So far I just crab to friends, family, husband when she starts in with something. It has gotten to the point twice with my SIL's where I have confronted them and my husband let them know both times that if they overstepped boundaries that we would just shut them off from us. The first time we stopped contact with her was almost 2 years, the second time 6 months. Since then the worst SIL does nit-picky annoying stuff (probably just to see if she can get my goat) , but she hasn't ventured into anything serious for a while. I think she's worried about us not talking to her again because it wouldn't hurt my feelings any. I feel for you.

so sorry!!

Get her!!

let me know how it works out~~!!

Well, SIL called me to apologize to me and to Caly before I could call her. I haven't been able to sit down and talk with her because there have been little ears around at all times, but we both think that maybe my MIL who has been relaying a lot of messages, has been relaying them wrong, or with a spin on them that makes things sound a lot worse that they should. SIL had been under the impression that MIL had called Caly and invited her to come and Caly snubbed her. SIL apologized because she should have spoken to me before trying to deal with what she thought Caly had done, or at least have heard Caly out first. Since we have both always had at least a moderate amount of disciplining each other's kids, this puts things into a different perspective. She WAS in the wrong. But it wasn't a random attack and she thought she was disciplining a kid who had said something rude to her grandmother. So SIL and I are back on good terms, SIL has apologized to Caly, and Caly has forgiven SIL. We haven't said anything about the miscommunication to MIL yet because I honestly don't know if it was on purpose. That would be pretty out of character. My initial thought is that she meant to just make a play for some sympathy from each of us, rather than sic us all on each other. I really hope that it was that and not that she's losing touch with reality. My FIL went through that and it wasn't fun.

The only real mess left to clean up is that Caly was at my mom's when SIL called, and I think my mom and my SIL got into it. I KNOW my mom is still ticked. SIL offered to call her and I said let me talk to her first so she doesn't just blow up at you. When I started to say something, mom started blowing up as ME! I'm staying out of it for tonight and frankly... they live in different towns. If my mom is pissed forever it won't make that much difference. If she calms down enough, I'll have SIL call to apologize. If not, I don't care. I'm done with being in the middle of everyone else's crap.

The circus was great BTW. In fact, it was the greatest show on earth.

I'm glad that your SIL called up and apologized to Caly and you! Hopefully your mother will calm down and forgive her as well. Hopefully your MIL has a good explanation for how this misunderstanding happened.

Glad she apologized, and glad the circus was great.

It does sound suspiciously like someone was trying to either stir thepot or stir up sympathy. Initially, it sounded like her response was totally unacceptable, but it would really make a difference if she was told that Caly was purposely avoiding her. SIL sounds repentant, and that counts for a lot.