Frustrated...

My kids father and I have been seperated for over 10 years (there is a lot to this story which would take a book to explain) so instead of going through the whole thing I will just say that he was abusive to our daughter and he's scum and he went to jail for it. Anyway I just sent out my yearly request to Child Support Enforcement for them to send me a letter showing the total owed in past due support, as of last year it was $21,556.32.
My husband and I do what we can, but it is getting a little harder now that they are teens and it's time for Driving School, and proms, and my son needs braces, school clothes get more expensive the older they get too. When I have the opportunity to make extra money I'm there. The kids even work seasonal jobs and use their money to buy their own stuff or pitch in on their clothes. When the kids father works he works under the table so his income won't be reported, I report this everytime I find out he's working but nothing comes of it. Any property he has he puts under someone elses name. His license has been revoked due to failure to pay child support but he just drives without one and gets caught for it and just pays the fine (this has happened 3 times now). If he isn't going to pay, and they can't force him to work (he's not disabled or anything) I think they should put him in jail. I just get so angry sometimes I could spit...sorry just had to vent

Kelly, I'm sorry you are going through all this. Not paying child support is one of my biggest pet peeves. I am luckily happily married ( and hoping to stay that way, but ya never know) but my SIL goes through hell with her ex, he wont pay, he does the same thing working under the table and she struggles just to make ends meet and he is on her case all the time. She left him but still lets him treat her like shit, I'd like to strangle the SOB when I hear him talk to her in front of their son. I get so mad I can't even talk about it and it's not even me.

The girl I babysit for has CPS investigating her threatening to take her son. Why? because his dad ( a known drug dealer) called CPS and told them she was doing drugs with the baby adn starving him (completely not true, I'd probably notice and lately he is with me 90% of the time while she works two jobs) why did he do all this? Because she filed to take him to court for child support. I just don't understand.

Your state wont arrest them?

I think now Texas is arresting them, if they get so far behind.

I am glad you are doing all you can. You should keep at it. I know its hard. VERY hard. and I know how people are doing the under the table thing.
a guy my husband works with quits his job every 6 months cause they find him and try to take his money.

BUT he really ISNT the father, they were split up, got back together, split up, etc. and it is NOT his kid, but when she had it he was put on the BC. They were not together when she had it, then got back together, of course He didnt find out till after they had already split up again and she got child support. 800 a month.

and it will cost loads of money to get taken OFF the BC.

oh and I also, sued my adopted dad for child support when I was 15. When they split they decided he would just buy me stuff and still be a dad. My mom didnt want anything from him... blah blah blah.

well he remarried, she didnt like me, and he pissed me off, so I sued him. I won and got like 20,000.00.

That was way over 15 years ago. I had to pay the lawyer, was able to live with out starving while I was in HS (I worked full time too, but lived by myself) and then put a good Down payment down on a house the minute I turned 18.

Of course he only paid because I put a lein against him and he couldnt do his buisiness with out paying me. (he owned his own buisiness)

IN TX they will not only arrest them, they cannot get a drivers license or a fishing or hunting license. I really have issues with people who refuse to pay Child Support. Hopefully they will catch up to him, but what good does it do for him to be in jail? He cannot pay there.

I feel for you- my ex- son in law is exactly the same kind of person- notice I did not use MAN. No matter what my daughter does or how many times they go to court and he is ordered to pay- he doesn't and nothing happens. He was even arrested on contempt charges because he didn't pay- he still has not paid. He also gets paid under the table a lot and even refused to give his daughter his financial info so she could put in for grants and loans for college. Some people are born jerks and they die jerks- he is one of them. He will never know the damage he has done to these kids. My daughter had struggled to make it on her own with the two girls now 17 and 16. She got nothing but bills in the divorce as she wanted out so badly. He doesn't pay his portion of the medical bills either forcing my daughter into bankruptcy when both girls had surgeries and long hospital stays. I do not understand the judicial system in this country and allowing dead beat dads to get away with this.

Edbson is RIGHT! I used to work in a store that sold H&F licences. I had to turn away many a man cause they were in the system. LOL

I had forgotten about that!

I do not know, being that my parents divorced when I was little and my father passed soon after.

But I do remember my Mom telling me about how if child support is not paid here in IL, they will get arrested. And I think they also can not get the DL, fishing, hunting, etc...

I would check with a lawyer to see where your rights are. Regardless of him getting paid under the table, there needs to be something done.

My friend had a hard time with her ex husband and his getting paid under the table, but eventually she got him to agree to something... otherwise i think he would face a possible deportation if she ratted him out on something (so yeah, she in other words, blackmailed him to take care of his child. Less than what she would get if she went through the court system, but she feels something is better than nothing)

KellyM, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It makes me so mad that these BUMS can get away with this!!! What about caring for your own children, I wanna scream at them!!!

My mom refused child support when my parents divorced and I never saw my dad. But I know that he was a nice man and would have paid it.

Something has to be done about these "boys" thinking they can con the system. No matter what anyone says, nobody wants to be in jail. It is hell and something that no "boy" will put up with. So I say arrest them all. I think they arrest them in California and Minnesota now (both places I have lived) but am not sure about that.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Kelly. Feel free to vent anytime!!

I have a friend from high school (a guy) who has the child support he pays taken directly from his paycheck. Sounds fair, except his kids live with him about half the time. Their mom keeps getting new boyfriends and when she does she ignores them, doesn't want them around, etc. and they move back in with their dad. But the child support keeps coming out of his paycheck and their mom just blows it on stuff for herself.

So there are greedy jerks of both genders. But I keep hoping that one day we'll find a way to make parents take care of their children. I wish you luck, Kelly. And I wish your ex some other things, LOL.

We do have jerks of both genders... you are so right!

As for having parents take care of their kids and raise them properly
I have about given up hope. Everywhere I look there are examples of bad parenting... or neglectful parenting. The results are sad and scary.

It is a shame when legal action has to be taken to make someone do the right thing.

The state of GA caught up with my dad when I was 32 years old (and he finally had a job that wasn't under the table).

They started docking his pay then, and he was paying back child support when I was 32 until I turned 36!

Disclaimer: I love my dad, he is just HORRIBLE with responsibility.